We're Not Done Yet

The 90s is still the ace up our sleeves

7/12/2023 - Dan

It's been some time since The Schroeder 'Zine put out content, since the writers for the magazine were unfortunately sidetracked by being middle aged and not giving a rats ass about very much. Plus, Nate got tired of not being able to put embeds into the actual articles, but instead everything just being grouped at the bottom like citations at the end of a pubmed article one might read to find out why they're so decrepit by age 40.

Since we're a “retro” publication in many ways, bringing our generation “nothing” (at one point we were gen Y) perspective to the digital age, it seemed like more 90s type stuff would be the way to go. The 90s are getting popular again anyways so it works out pretty well for us: Let us seize this opportunity where there is reverence for our coming of age era, before it passes in the blink of an eye and people start to feel nostalgic about Macklemore. Let's juice this 90s thing really hard because it's the only thing we really understand; it shaped us, right now it's considered cool and we can kind of pretend we are too.

List of funny take on 90s band names that I came up with on the couch while listening to Blossom Dearie (who wasn't from the 90s):

Stone Temple Pilates

Alanis Null-set

Strawberry Jam (reference to Pearl Jam btw)

County Crows

Crash Test Morons

Nine Inch Phillips-head Screw

Depeche A La Mode

Old Order (like New Order but the opposite)

Rage Against The Henry Mancini

The Wu-Tang Takeout

Tasmin Archer lvl 1 Starting Class

Radioheadache

Already Smashed Pumpkins

Faith Yes More

System of an Up

KMFDSTFU

Overweight Puppy

Aphex Only Child

The Gin Rummy Blossoms

Dinosaur Senior

Anyways whatever, you get the point. You're also free to think of your own band names and pretend they were part of this article, and even print this out and pencil them in which is why I left some space at the end.

*editor's note: Since the time this was written, we've received more submissions by one of our readers Steve, from NYC:

Soundgarden State

NINtendo

Mr Hot Bungle

They Might Be Midgets

Gipsy Drag Kings

Sublemon

Even more submissions from our own staff writer, Nate:

Secondarius

Creampie Tasters

DIY Suicide Machines

More Than Jake

Mighty Mighty Bustanut-tones

Waterboards of Canada